Space Is Now Officially Fake and Gay

Language alert on the video below but I sure did get a kick out of it.

So first let’s think about a few things. On the one hand they’re not even the first women in space by a long shot. On the other, these chicks didn’t even do anything but ride to thin air on a rocket shaped like a phallus. Hell, even Christa Mccauliff had to push a few buttons, albeit maybe the wrong one. To top it off we now have to listen to Gayle King lecture us about how she’s a trailblazing “astronaut”? I tend to tune out people whom we never would have heard of except through their “friendship” with Oprah. Listen Scizter King, let’s talk about space exploration when you can find something other than the “oppressed black woman millionaire” card to play.

Also I’m on a flight next week to New Orleans. So I’m very happy to be the first middle-aged white dude between 6’1” and 6’ 3” with a double spinal fusion to command such a flight. Historic moment here. And when I land, they’ll call me the King of Jazz for my contributions to that genre simply by my presence in the Big Easy.

Come on, gals, if I didn’t already think space was fake and gay before I’m sure positive it is now. Forget about thinking the moon landing was fake. These women are making me doubt the existence of the moon itself! I think it’s time to rewatch Project Capricorn.