Today, the feast of St. James, I woke up and headed to morning Mass at the parish. I noticed two things as I got out of my car. The first was that I was overcome by an image in my mind. The image was of me sitting in a pew during the Offertory in the very church almost two years ago. It was a cold yet bright weekday morning, the same Mass I was walking into today. It was while sitting there during that Mass that I began to get the phone calls from my sisters telling me that one of our brothers had died.
I thought of him as I looked around the parking lot this morning and I said a prayer for him. I thought I’d how he died – alone in a boarding house in Scranton, PA. He had made his choices in life and these were the results. Years of drinking and drug abuse culminated in a massive heart attack or seizure or something. We don’t really know. In fact we didn’t even know he had died until that morning which was six weeks after the fact. No one in Scranton knew who we were. It was Providence that someone connected the dots right before he was to be either cremated or buried in a potters field, I can’t recall which.
I thought of my mom and the now-routine duty we’ve had in telling her that another of her children were dead. She is a rock. Rather, she has faith unmatched by anyone I’ve met. I remember her explaining death to me when I was 4 years-old and my twin had died. I lost a twin. She lost a baby. Yet she saw her obligation was to comfort the living and to teach. What did she tell me? She told me to never be afraid and it’s something she’s told me again and again. I’ve reminded her of that during these dark days of the Bergoglian antipapacy. God will not be mocked and the Immaculate Heart will triumph.
I thought of 30 Gregorian Masses I arranged to be said for his soul and I prayed that God would look upon that one gesture of mine for my brother, my godfather, and overlook his sins and welcome him into His heaven.
If it isn’t obvious…
Stay confessed and never forget to pray for the dead.
I thought about all of these things as I realized the second thing while I was getting out of my car…
The parking lot was unusually empty. I’ve been away two months and didn’t realize they had suspended the morning Mass for the Summer.
Oh well. Let’s try again later.
St. James, pray for us!
*PS: I did eventually get to Mass where I prayed for my brother on what would have been his 57th birthday specifically at the elevation of the Chalice. Lord Jesus, have mercy on him and on me!”
Happy birthday, brother!
Harvey Millican's Blog: Musings of a Trad Dad 