I received the following email from a reader this morning.
Hi, Harvey. Do you have any suggestions for where men could shop for clothes in line with what you suggest? Ms. Barnhardt suggested eShakti.com for the ladies.
Here is my response.
Thanks for your question, and a good question it is! I will admit up front that I get to cheat a bit at this one. I have a relative who works for the parent company of Brooks Brothers and have been able to buy a suit there with an enormous discount. Brooks Brothers has been one of the quintessential men’s clothiers since before the time of Teddy Roosevelt. They have provided a classic American look to generations. That being said, that’s only one suit. The bottom line is that it is far easier to find decent mens clothing than it is for women. Most major department stores have suits, suit separates, jackets, ties, etc. Heck, I even found a beautiful sport coat in a thrift shop in my area. $10. I’ve worn it for years now and get compliments every time I do. Today I wore the jacket from a suit I bought in 1996. The pants long ago frayed but the navy shadow-striped jacket is still in top shape. Recycle what you can. I also inherited my dad’s tuxedo and a few of his ties and jackets. Although I think it’s necessary to spend a little bit of money on a good look, most of the time it is completely unnecessary. I think the key with men’s attire is in taking care of what you have – polishing one’s shoes, wearing a tie properly knotted and not hanging loose like a slob, etc. In other words, how you dress is a direct extension of how you live. Are you a man? Are you vain? Are you humble? If you are vain, you’ll want to draw attention to yourself and “how nice you look”. If you’re humble, you’ll want your look to be neat and clean, unobtrusive, and not to distract from you, the man. Now hats are a different story. I travel a fair bit and try to pick up a hat when I see one. I grew up outside of Manhattan (NYC) and was always able to find men’s haberdashers in the city. Again, I often fail at this but I’ve been trying hard simply to think of how men used to dress and then following that lead as best I can. The 1940’s and ’50’s were a golden age of style but even there, there’s nothing to say that men and women can’t dress modestly and attractively by carefully stepping outside those decades. But again, I will look up some resources and post something later this evening. Well here we are, aren’t we? I hesitate to post names of specific companies because I need to research every place I shop. There are places I will not shop because of their corporate policies in support of sodomy. Thank you again for writing and please offer a prayer for me.
Harvey
Now Let’s Talk About Grooming
Hair: It should be short. Sorry, gents, but we’ve advanced as a society far enough now that scissors are a widely available thing as are electric clippers. In fact, there was really only one man in history Who had long hair that worked for Him. And you’re not Him. I see my barber every 3-4 weeks and get a high and tight. Again, your hair should not be a distraction nor should it be the focal point of your existence and stature.
Facial Hair: This one’s not as tricky as it sounds. I tend to say either clean shaven (all the time) or, better yet, grow it out but keep it trimmed. I remember feeling so cool when I was 13 and shaved for the first time. It was manly and I was now a man (or so I thought). Years later I was teaching CS Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters and read (and re-read many times) the following passage. It’s advice from one demon to another.
“We have now for many centuries triumphed over nature to the extent of making certain secondary characteristics of the male (such as the beard) disagreeable to nearly all the females – and there is more in that than you might suppose.”
Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, Letter XX
I’ve given this one some thought and I’ve worn a beard for the past five years. I recognize not all men can grow a beard. I believe that has to do with the overall feminization of the West – soy products and overall lower levels of testosterone. OK 1) Eat meat. That being said, I say, if you can do it, do it.
Posture: Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Suck in your gut. Chest out. Make yourself big.
Chivalry: Learn it. Live it. Grab that door for every lady (and really for any person). Give of yourself. Another thing I learned from Dad was in watching how until the last time he drove a car, he always held the car door for my mom. I try to do that for my wife. She agreed to take on your life, your name, and your children. Treat her like it.
Accessories: First, don’t ever use that word. I’m just using it here for reference. Shoes should be polished. They should match your belt which should match your eyes which should be hazel. I’m only kidding about that last part but you get it.
Other than that, there’s not much to it. Ann Barnhardt mentioned a preference for not going wild with colors and not giving into the trend of “skinny” tailoring. First that brings up an important point. If you are able to and need to, get your more important clothing tailored. Many dry cleaners have a tailor on site. It’s a one-time thing (unless your weight fluctuates wildly) and worth the relatively minor cost. WEAR YOUR PANTS AT YOUR WAIST – Not below, Not above. And yes, I agree. I wouldn’t go the skinny route. I know some will push back and say “but I look good in that!” If you do, that probably means you are skinny. Don’t be afraid to put some meat on your bones. Remember we men are distinguished by greater muscle mass. Ask any swimmer who’s competed against Will Thomas. And as far as bright colors, the word I would use is gauche or flamboyant. I own exactly one pink tie. I bought it for my daughter’s baptism which occurred on Gaudete Sunday. Other than that, a tiny splash of color is OK, as Ann says, in ties, pocket squares, etc. Don’t make a habit of it.
And for heaven’s sake, don’t wear jewelry. It should go without saying that earrings are for pirates and queers. Tough love moment? Sorry. Your wedding ring, gentlemen, is a sacramental, not jewelry. Treat it accordingly. Your scapular (and you should be wearing one) stays beneath your shirt. It is for your benefit. Trust me, everyone else in that Trad parish has one on and they assume you do as well.
Wow, that was longer than I was expecting. Perhaps this becomes a regular feature? Likely not.
Our Lady of Fair Love, pray for us!
St. Paul, pray for us!
Harvey Millican's Blog: Musings of a Trad Dad 