Dear friends, earlier today I posted about the need to stay confessed and for all of us to pray for the dead.
And then I went off to the 12:15 Mass at my parish.
I don’t advise this; but I typically carry my phone with me into Mass. For a number of reasons I do this; but particularly because my mother is almost 90. I set a function on my phone whereby nothing can get through to that phone except from my wife, my children, and my sister with whom my mother lives, and even then only through a silent buzz.
It happened once before, too. In late December of 2021 I was in the parish church for a Wednesday morning Mass when my phone started to buzz. I quickly silenced it but in the process noticed it was my sister calling. I decided to do what I thought my dad would do. I waited until Mass was over, offering my prayers for whomever it was that I was sure was dead. In that moment, of course, I assumed it was my mom. Imagine my surprise at finding out it was my older brother.
This afternoon, I went to the aforementioned 12:15 Mass. One of my nieces, a college student who lives nearby, walked in and I asked her to sit by me in the very last row of the parish hall. I was sitting there because I’ve been dealing with a crippling sciatica the past week and didn’t want to draw attention to myself if I couldn’t kneel. In the middle of the Creed, my phone started buzzing in my pocket. It was that same sister. I knew instinctively that something was not right. Thoughts went through my head. “It’s Mom,” I said to myself. “Thank God I spoke to her on Facetime before I went to Mass (as I do most Sunday mornings). I decided to pray for her or whomever it was that had died, for I was sure someone had died.
Moments later, during the Offertory of the Mass, I felt a tug on my shoulder. It was my niece. I glanced over to see that she was holding her watch up in my face. The message from her mother (another sister of mine ) said simply, “Aunt X died.”
That aunt is my sister.
My friends, I cannot describe to you what that moment was like because I do not rightly recall. I remember looking up to that altar and seeing Father beginning the Canon of the Mass, hearing the bells. I may have actually collapsed onto the floor. All I remember is a flood of memories about my big sister and me. She was 18 years older than me. She took me to Disney World when I was 6. She took me to my first Broadway show (and many more after that). She was a regular guest in my house every year at Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and sometimes New Years. She was 67 years-old.
I made a decision to remain until the elevation of the Chalice, at which point I remember turning to my niece and saying, “I have to go.”
She escorted me out of the church, clutching my hand like we were dancing a gavotte. The ushers followed me out. I must have made some kind of scene. They asked if there was a medical emergency. I assured them there was not. I turned to my niece and said, “I’m so sorry. I have to go to my wife and kids and tell them.” She understood. In hindsight I felt horrible leaving her there. This was her aunt.
It’s been a few hours now. I still don’t know how this happened.
I’m numb and in a state of shock.
May I ask of your prayers? Please pray for the soul of my sister. Pray for her daughter, and son-in-law, and grandson. Please pray for me and my siblings. Pray for my mom who has now lost seven of her sixteen children. Pray for my parish priests, such good men who, when I reached out to them, offered such kindness. There’s a 6AM requiem for her already on Monday morning.
I am sad. This was unexpected.
But everything I wrote in my last post remains even more true.
For the love of God, you do not know when you will be called to judgment… STAY CONFESSED!
Avail yourselves of Mass and the sacraments. Say your prayers. Love the Lord Jesus and love His Holy Mother. Beseech Them every day. Ask for the grace of a happy, holy, and provided death.
