Daily Archives: June 21, 2023

This One Checks All the Boxes

I came across a parish bulletin today.

I’ll say at the outset that this bulletin is publicly available online for all the world to see. I am not divulging anything that is not known to anyone with eyes and Wi-Fi.

The parish is St. Joseph’s in Maplewood, NJ. Archdiocese of Newark. Cardinal Joseph “Nighty Night Baby” Tobin’s domain.

One has to assume he’s aware of this and doesn’t care.

Before I get to the eye-catching (and not just because of the garish colors) part, there were these interesting lines…

Immediately below the parish’s name, which itself was next to a modern image that was supposed to be Christ but resembled a cow, the most asinine subtitle appears.

“We are on the land of the Leni Lenape Native Americans”.

Um, no. You are in Essex County, dipshits. I grew up here and never once saw a Lenape. But you do you I guess.

Here then, the bomb.

Whatever, right? We know this goes on. Still doesn’t make it right. And a “dynamic Catholic guest speaker?!” Hold me back. I bet it’s James Martin. By the way, props for the image of Bergoglio and his line about judging. Makes it all seem legit I suppose.

So first tell me how on earth this isn’t proof that there are two Catholic “churches”. The one headed by the clown in white in the banner has been actively and vociferously trying to suppress the Catholic Mass my ancestors worshipped God in while promoting a “mass” celebrating pride in the ability to, as another blogger put it recently, masturbate in another man’s rectum.

But it goes beyond that. You see, I know this pastor. We were in seminary together. Although in my innocence I did not know his proclivities at the time (and thank God for that) it has since been confirmed to me exactly what kind of man he is. Another classmate who has since been ordained and subsequently laicized, told me all about their conversations. Disgusting doesn’t begin to describe what I heard.

But check out the full bulletin here. Judge for yourself. This all checks out to be in line with what the world has known as the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church founded by Jesus Christ, right? All the sodomites are welcome! Yay! I wonder if he has a clue how many people he’s lead to the gates of hell. But good on him for also being the “Director of Faith Formation” too so there’s just the one soul to hold accountable. As for Tobin, what did we expect from a man who admitted to living with an Italian soap actor and calling him his “Baby” in text?

Blessed Mother, your triumph can’t come soon enough.