Tag Archives: Chicago

The Wednesday Roundup: Now with Half the Calories!

Oh Canadia!

Jorge’s recent trip to Canada is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Quick aside: do you remember how the announcement of Bergoglio’s supposed election to the papacy was made? They dragged up the Cardinal Proto-deacon, Jean-Louis Tauran, from his crypt beneath the Vatican grottoes to make the traditional “Habamus Papam” declaration from the balcony of St. Peter’s. Even at the time I remember thinking, “Is this guy asking a question or making a statement?” As in, “We have a pope?” Yes, Eminence, we do. His name is Benedict. But now nine years later we have the squatter visiting the hinterlands of North America and demon-worshiping something called the Grandmother of the West. I’m not making this up. I think he should have invoked the Step-sister of the East instead. I hear she’s more willing to appease her summoners. She couldn’t get as many dates in high school because her cousin, Baphomet, turned all the other demons into raging fags. Poor thing. She reminds me of Kim Campbell*.

I Play One on TV

I had intended to write about the legal concept known as “corporation sole”. In brief, think of this as “the Crown” but better. Every diocese in the United States, or so I’m told by a drunk lawyer, is incorporated under this method. What it means is that the entirety of that diocese IS the bishop. In other words, the parish properties, the miters, the little knob-like thing that turns on the sprinklers at the episcopal residence and doesn’t have a name? All belong to the bishop as CEO of the corporation. I was going to write about this because said sauced counsel called to advise that any bishop in this country who wanted to keep the Latin Mass alive and well in his diocese could simply do it. When he gets threatened with removal from office, he can tell the Vatican, “Try to remove me. I own the property. I own the diocese. I OWN EVERYTHING!” Then the whole thing goes to US District Court where an American jurist operating under the kind of law that actually means something in the real world might simply say, “Hey, corporate law is pretty clear.” But this friend was really, really sotted when we spoke so maybe that’s not a thing.

What is a thing is that I had my yearly jury duty this morning! I usually tell them, per George Carlin’s old chestnut, “I’d make an excellent juror because I can spot guilty people just like that!” This time there was no need. It was a justice of the peace court. There were 22 potential jurors called in and they only needed 6 for the case. Mathematically my odds were slim to begin with. The case in question centered around an eviction. When I answered that I had once been a landlord (renting a house I owned to a friend), I was dismissed with extreme prejudice and malice aforethought. Also, habeas corpus or something. I’ve seen Law & Order. I know how it goes.

The Wedding at Cana, stained glass, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Harrisburg, PA where there is NO Latin Mass (but literally a block away in an also-beautiful church there is.

Speaking of evictions, I happened to read the very good blog linked on Canon212 this morning called Curmudgeon’s Cave. Whoever you are, brother, keep writing. Me like. His point in writing was to expose some of the less seemly things going on in the background of the Cupich/ICKSP situation. First we learn that Cupich apparently kept the insurance money when the church burned and in recompense, gave the property to the Institute. We also learn that there were stipulations in the quit-claim deed that prevent the Institute from carrying out any religious services deemed inappropriate by the Archbishop of Chicago. So that’s why the Institute conceded on this one. They’re legally – as in civil law, not canon – not allowed to offer the TLM in their own property. Ain’t that a kicker?

Is There Any Testicular Fortitude Left in the World?

And again I ask, where are the men? You know, if some demon-worshiping fruitcake (or some fruitcake worshiping demon) told me that I had to do this or that or forbade me from doing that which he has no authority to forbid (for a whole lotta’ reasons), I’d probably laugh in his face. Yes, think about that. Let’s go with the former descriptor above. Imagine a literal fruitcake. They make the majority of the world’s fruitcakes here in Texas. But just imagine an anthropomorphic fruitcake trying to tell you that you are forbidden from offering the Latin Mass. Fathers, how do you respond to that? Remember, and I cannot stress this enough, it’s a freakin’ fruitcake. The only difference here is that the actual fruitcake might just have as much actual authority as the man who went north and worshiped an actual demon. And happens to be a fruitcake.

Wake up! He cannot tell you 1) not to offer the Latin Mass, 2) that you need his or anyone else’s permission to do so, and 3) that all the gods of the pagans aren’t demons because, as per Psalm 95, they sure as hell are. And remember, saying that they’re not is simply not Catholic. And what do we call non-Catholics acting like pope? If you said a little boy playing dress up (who happens to not be Catholic) then you get Harvey’s gold star of the day.

You did it! Hooray!

*If you know who Kim Campbell is and you never lived in Canada, you, too, get the gold star.

Get Out!

Earlier today, Ann Barnhardt posted her usual hot take/words of wisdom and as usual, yours truly couldn’t agree more. Go check it out. The interpretive statement, though, is that since the Roman Mass is apparently being suppressed in the hellhole city of Chicago, there is absolutely no reason to remain if you are a faithful Catholic.

I’ve been to Chicago many times. Years ago it was a happening place replete with all the things that make for a world class city. In the 1990’s and early 2000’s even, it was the beneficiary of the same circumstances that made for a low-crime urban habitation. Believe me, it wasn’t the Daly Machine either. As my late father, the actuary, pointed out to me once, it had to do with birthrates in the 1980’s. Seems there were far more baby girls born at that time than boys (statistically speaking). As young men commit the majority of crime, the crime rate dipped in large cities 15-20 years later, broken windows policing notwithstanding.

Ann called her that “dyke psychopath mayor”. In my repost of yesterday’s blog over on Gloria.tv I went with something similar. I was itching to call Lori Lightfoot exactly what she is but restrained myself. This proves once again that Barnhardt has far less native fear than I. So I’ll use the phrase “gremlin dyke mayor from hell” here instead.

Altar of St. Ann, Basilique Saint-Sauveur, Dinan, France

And I agree with Ann. There is no reason to stay in Chicago. And soon there may be no reason to stay in Dallas or Newark or Sarasota or Little Rock. You see, when they start shutting down the Mass, it’s time to leave. Only bad things can be on the horizon in places where Our Lord is persona non grata.

“But there are plenty of Novus Ordo masses in the Windy City!”

Can it, you breathless fool.

If I wanted to be “blessed” by a faggot holding an acoustic guitar I’d save myself the airfare and wait until Lil’ NasX was in town. Also, I’d never be caught dead at a Lil’ NasX show. How about you take your horse to the old town road and send it to the glue factory, Twinkle Toes?

This does bring up the interesting question. Are we already at the doorstep of the prophecy of Daniel? And what do faithful Catholics do when the mass is taken away from them by diabolical prelates? Folks, I don’t have an answer but I will tell you that I am clutching my beads, taking advantage of every Mass I can get to, and staying as confessed as possible.

And I think that’s the best advice I can give right now. Look, if they’ll do it in Chicago, they will certainly do it where you are. Make friends with solid priests. And when the time comes, be prepared to open your homes to them and to support them.

Holy Mary, Mystical Rose, pray for us!

UPDATE: Today the Institute, Tomorrow the World

Soon after I hit publish on my post of last evening (“Fr. Z. Action Item…“), requesting my readers to join in with Fr.’s “Intention I”, news broke out of Chicago.

I speculated that the “I” stood for indult but that it might possibly be much worse than simply a return to indult days of the 1980’s where priests had to receive special permission to say the old Mass. No, the I stood for “Institute”, as in Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest (ICKSP, the Institute). The Institute is one of the Ecclesia Dei groups who, along with the FSSP and others, were founded in the early 1990’s and currently have a presence in 14 US cities including Chicago where their US province is headquartered.

Stained glass of my girl St. Rita, saint of the impossible, St. Anthony’s Catholic Church (an ICKSP parish), West Orange, NJ

Cardinal Cupich has decided to give the Institute the boot starting on August 1 of this year, some two weeks hence. Blase Cupich, the man who never met a liturgical abuse he didn’t love as evidenced by the many “abnormalities” not only tolerated but tacitly encouraged in his adchdiocese. Blase Cupich, the man who, years ago when he was just a tiny little baby bishop in Rapid City, locked TLM mass-goers out of their own church during Holy Week. Blase Cupich, the McCarrick boy who is essentially the E. F. Hutton of the Catholic Church in America. When Blase Cupich speaks, beta bishops listen.

That is why this news is so devastating. First of all, ICKSP has done nothing except to serve the Catholic population of any location where they have established a presence. Second, what Cupich does today, you can expect a number of bishops to do tomorrow. We can rapidly go from praying for “Intention I” to praying for “Intention F” and you all know what I mean by that (and they serve in more parishes than “I”). Wilton Gregory is rumored to be doing something similar to the Latin Mass in his see. The bishop of Savanah just announced severe restrictions on the TLM in his see – and his restrictions are weird because they come from answers to questions he posed to Rome. Savanah’s Latin Masses will be coming to an end on the oddly specific date of May 20, 2023.

Friends, don’t ever stop praying or fighting.

Our Lady of Mount Carmel, pray for us!

St. Simon Stock, pray for us!