Tag Archives: cupich

The Wednesday Roundup: Now with Half the Calories!

Oh Canadia!

Jorge’s recent trip to Canada is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Quick aside: do you remember how the announcement of Bergoglio’s supposed election to the papacy was made? They dragged up the Cardinal Proto-deacon, Jean-Louis Tauran, from his crypt beneath the Vatican grottoes to make the traditional “Habamus Papam” declaration from the balcony of St. Peter’s. Even at the time I remember thinking, “Is this guy asking a question or making a statement?” As in, “We have a pope?” Yes, Eminence, we do. His name is Benedict. But now nine years later we have the squatter visiting the hinterlands of North America and demon-worshiping something called the Grandmother of the West. I’m not making this up. I think he should have invoked the Step-sister of the East instead. I hear she’s more willing to appease her summoners. She couldn’t get as many dates in high school because her cousin, Baphomet, turned all the other demons into raging fags. Poor thing. She reminds me of Kim Campbell*.

I Play One on TV

I had intended to write about the legal concept known as “corporation sole”. In brief, think of this as “the Crown” but better. Every diocese in the United States, or so I’m told by a drunk lawyer, is incorporated under this method. What it means is that the entirety of that diocese IS the bishop. In other words, the parish properties, the miters, the little knob-like thing that turns on the sprinklers at the episcopal residence and doesn’t have a name? All belong to the bishop as CEO of the corporation. I was going to write about this because said sauced counsel called to advise that any bishop in this country who wanted to keep the Latin Mass alive and well in his diocese could simply do it. When he gets threatened with removal from office, he can tell the Vatican, “Try to remove me. I own the property. I own the diocese. I OWN EVERYTHING!” Then the whole thing goes to US District Court where an American jurist operating under the kind of law that actually means something in the real world might simply say, “Hey, corporate law is pretty clear.” But this friend was really, really sotted when we spoke so maybe that’s not a thing.

What is a thing is that I had my yearly jury duty this morning! I usually tell them, per George Carlin’s old chestnut, “I’d make an excellent juror because I can spot guilty people just like that!” This time there was no need. It was a justice of the peace court. There were 22 potential jurors called in and they only needed 6 for the case. Mathematically my odds were slim to begin with. The case in question centered around an eviction. When I answered that I had once been a landlord (renting a house I owned to a friend), I was dismissed with extreme prejudice and malice aforethought. Also, habeas corpus or something. I’ve seen Law & Order. I know how it goes.

The Wedding at Cana, stained glass, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Harrisburg, PA where there is NO Latin Mass (but literally a block away in an also-beautiful church there is.

Speaking of evictions, I happened to read the very good blog linked on Canon212 this morning called Curmudgeon’s Cave. Whoever you are, brother, keep writing. Me like. His point in writing was to expose some of the less seemly things going on in the background of the Cupich/ICKSP situation. First we learn that Cupich apparently kept the insurance money when the church burned and in recompense, gave the property to the Institute. We also learn that there were stipulations in the quit-claim deed that prevent the Institute from carrying out any religious services deemed inappropriate by the Archbishop of Chicago. So that’s why the Institute conceded on this one. They’re legally – as in civil law, not canon – not allowed to offer the TLM in their own property. Ain’t that a kicker?

Is There Any Testicular Fortitude Left in the World?

And again I ask, where are the men? You know, if some demon-worshiping fruitcake (or some fruitcake worshiping demon) told me that I had to do this or that or forbade me from doing that which he has no authority to forbid (for a whole lotta’ reasons), I’d probably laugh in his face. Yes, think about that. Let’s go with the former descriptor above. Imagine a literal fruitcake. They make the majority of the world’s fruitcakes here in Texas. But just imagine an anthropomorphic fruitcake trying to tell you that you are forbidden from offering the Latin Mass. Fathers, how do you respond to that? Remember, and I cannot stress this enough, it’s a freakin’ fruitcake. The only difference here is that the actual fruitcake might just have as much actual authority as the man who went north and worshiped an actual demon. And happens to be a fruitcake.

Wake up! He cannot tell you 1) not to offer the Latin Mass, 2) that you need his or anyone else’s permission to do so, and 3) that all the gods of the pagans aren’t demons because, as per Psalm 95, they sure as hell are. And remember, saying that they’re not is simply not Catholic. And what do we call non-Catholics acting like pope? If you said a little boy playing dress up (who happens to not be Catholic) then you get Harvey’s gold star of the day.

You did it! Hooray!

*If you know who Kim Campbell is and you never lived in Canada, you, too, get the gold star.

Wilton’s Gonna’ Wilton: the Omens of a Week Past

With all the portentous news this week of bishops with busted moral compasses and bio labs and nukes, it seems to me the biggest story is what lies ahead.

One by one this week the dominoes started to topple. It started with Cupich and the Institute last Friday. Cupich – the smug, race baiting, vindictive man – never met a true Catholic he couldn’t stomach. He’s shutting down the ICK on his turf; or not if you listen to Doctor Taylor. By the way, I always thought Doctor was a strange first name but to each his own. Sidenote #1: My dad used to tire of getting notes from teachers and principals signed with a string of meaningless academic letters so he used to send his replies back with his signature followed by “FOS” – “Father of Sixteen”. In any event, I do think it’s a done deal, “DWW” (Dad with Webcam” notwithstanding).

Next up we had the delightful item of the Bishops of New Orleans (most demonically oppressed city in the hemisphere), Shreveport, Baton Rouge, Houma-Thiebedoux, and Crawdaddy sign off on the murder of the unborn. They’re just taking their cues from the antipope, I suppose. He’s apparently set to drop a doc on us that supposedly legitimizes the use of condoms and other contraceptives. Just looking out for his buds in the cardinalate. Sidenote #2: No straight man in his right mind would ever consent to covering that up. Just sayin’… it’s a little thing called nature.

Then there was the reportage by Mark Doherty that the US government has systematically been leading us to the brink of a nuclear war over biolabs, and pharmaceuticals. Nice. Sidenote #3: They say we should flee to a safe place like Wyoming but then there’s that whole Yellowstone Caldera thing…

Sanctuary view from Ambulatory, Cathedral Basilica of the Sacred Heart, Newark, NJ

Finally, though, we have Holy Wilton Gregory, or as his friends call him, “Big Papa” (or so I hear). Hey, who am I to judge, right? Sidenote #4: McCarrick used to call every seminarian by a diminutive. I hated that. He went by “Uncle Ted” to some or “His Nibs” to others. Anyway, Notorious GRG has informed his people that the Latin Mass will effectively end in his diocese because “We love you so much we need to bring you into this craptastic farce called Novus Ordo!” Keep in mind that they insist the NO is the “sole expression” of the Roman Rite and yet they conveniently ignore the Anglican Ordinariate. These men are liars (or stupid to be more charitable).

The reason I think this last item is significant is because it is part of a pattern playing out before us. Chicago, Savannah, DC… The “implementation of TC seems to have taken shape a year after its release and it ain’t pretty. In the coming days and weeks I would look for other bishops to start issuing their own similar documents to Holy Wilton’s.

Final sidenote: I went back and re-read Quo Primum today. My isn’t it fascinating? Here you have a papal bull explicitly stating that no future pope can undo what’s been done in a particular matter. And no one did until 1970. Did Paul VI Montini really think his precious Humanae Vitae wouldn’t meet the same fate 50 years later?

Mother Inviolate, pray for us!

St. Mary Magdalene, the Penitent, the one who loved much, pray for us!

Get Out!

Earlier today, Ann Barnhardt posted her usual hot take/words of wisdom and as usual, yours truly couldn’t agree more. Go check it out. The interpretive statement, though, is that since the Roman Mass is apparently being suppressed in the hellhole city of Chicago, there is absolutely no reason to remain if you are a faithful Catholic.

I’ve been to Chicago many times. Years ago it was a happening place replete with all the things that make for a world class city. In the 1990’s and early 2000’s even, it was the beneficiary of the same circumstances that made for a low-crime urban habitation. Believe me, it wasn’t the Daly Machine either. As my late father, the actuary, pointed out to me once, it had to do with birthrates in the 1980’s. Seems there were far more baby girls born at that time than boys (statistically speaking). As young men commit the majority of crime, the crime rate dipped in large cities 15-20 years later, broken windows policing notwithstanding.

Ann called her that “dyke psychopath mayor”. In my repost of yesterday’s blog over on Gloria.tv I went with something similar. I was itching to call Lori Lightfoot exactly what she is but restrained myself. This proves once again that Barnhardt has far less native fear than I. So I’ll use the phrase “gremlin dyke mayor from hell” here instead.

Altar of St. Ann, Basilique Saint-Sauveur, Dinan, France

And I agree with Ann. There is no reason to stay in Chicago. And soon there may be no reason to stay in Dallas or Newark or Sarasota or Little Rock. You see, when they start shutting down the Mass, it’s time to leave. Only bad things can be on the horizon in places where Our Lord is persona non grata.

“But there are plenty of Novus Ordo masses in the Windy City!”

Can it, you breathless fool.

If I wanted to be “blessed” by a faggot holding an acoustic guitar I’d save myself the airfare and wait until Lil’ NasX was in town. Also, I’d never be caught dead at a Lil’ NasX show. How about you take your horse to the old town road and send it to the glue factory, Twinkle Toes?

This does bring up the interesting question. Are we already at the doorstep of the prophecy of Daniel? And what do faithful Catholics do when the mass is taken away from them by diabolical prelates? Folks, I don’t have an answer but I will tell you that I am clutching my beads, taking advantage of every Mass I can get to, and staying as confessed as possible.

And I think that’s the best advice I can give right now. Look, if they’ll do it in Chicago, they will certainly do it where you are. Make friends with solid priests. And when the time comes, be prepared to open your homes to them and to support them.

Holy Mary, Mystical Rose, pray for us!