I am so blessed In so many ways. Both my father and father-in-law are dead. That may seem morbid but… That also means I am both the son and the son-in-law of two widows. Two wonderful and incredible widows. And every day I get to offer my daily mass intention for my wife, children, and our mothers. Remember, abusing the widow is one of only four sins that cry out to heaven for vengeance. So conversely, caring for them must be the right thing to do. Fortunately I love caring for these two women who have both shaped me into the man I am. I live close to my mother-in-law. I see her every day at mass. I am 44 years-old yet I still learn from her. I respect her and honor her and teach my children to do the same. I live 1500 miles from my mom but I love her (obviously) and respect her and honor her and teach my children to do the same. They are both magnificent ladies and I am blessed that I can help pray for and care for them in any way God allows.
Today, Sunday, I got up and headed out of the condo we stayed at in Bonita Springs, Florida. We had been attending an FSSP parish for daily Mass while here. Their Sunday Masses are early so we decided to drive north toward Sarasota and visit the FSSP parish there for a 12:30 Mass. Don’t you know that their 12:30 was cancelled today? Trying to remember that as father I am sort of like the episcopal head of my household (at least according to Augustine), I stood up in the empty church and read the introit, epistle, and Gospel and then lead my family in a Latin rosary. We even chanted the Salve. Being after noon, we looked to find another TLM to attend. Unfortunately there were none.
I go back and forth on this one but I asked my Guardian Angel to help me decide rightly. I even checked in with my nephew who is also my godson. He was partly instrumental in bringing his old godfather into the Latin Mass. Should we attempt a Novus Ordo? Even these options were limited. I looked online to find one parish with a 5PM Mass. They proudly proclaimed they had a “Ministry for Circus and Traveling Performers”. Im not joking. A literal “clown Mass”. The other church I found featured a picture of the pastor on their “Welcome Page”. He was an older man, wearing a white button down shirt and jacket and holding a shih tzu. So he’s clearly a fag. I made an honest effort to get my family to the mass of the ages and it was cancelled. No, I am under no obligation to worship God at a rite where He is mocked by faggotry and clowns.
Nonetheless, my mother-in-law wanted to receive Communion. Understandable. Later in the day, I drove her to the clown parish so she could do just that. I even entered the church and stayed through the homily. Here’s what I heard.
*Remember, the NO and TLM are in theory different forms of the same rite. Then again under the provisos of TC they’re not. Can anyone tell me what’s going on here? That’s right. There are two churches. Got it? Got it…
In the NO Mass, the Gospel was the Good Samaritan. I personally read the TLM Gospel so I know it was not that. The clown priest gave a sermon that was 25 minutes long. In it, he said that 1) we should stop treating animals like they’re just food and in this way we can be more like the Good Samaritan; 2) the Church should stop selling her monasteries and this is how we can prevent the drop in religious vocations; and 3) all the people sitting in the pews should teach their children to love God because He loves them and that this is how we stop the loss of faith.
Let’s. Review. This. Crap.
1) Animals (especially the tastier ones like cows) are food.
2) We can stop selling off monasteries but with no one to fill them they’re kind of wasted. Also we could stop buying condos in London. Just saying.
3) You don’t have to tell me precisely but I guarantee that every person in this church this evening (30 max and average age of 70) has children who are already grown and contracepted for years because priests told them it was fine and dandy. See how that works, Father?
Do I believe the clown priest validly confected the Eucharist? Yes. And that’s why I think God is not thrilled to have been called down on that particular altar. Or table.
On the plus side, my wife picked up an examination of conscience at the TLM parish. It was on the back table. We read it together during lunch. We had a good laugh. There was one for the “Mr.” and one for the “Mrs.”. The one for the Mrs. asked an awesome question.
“Do I tend to my husband’s needs in so far as ironing his shirts and hanging up his ties, jackets, and pipes?”
I love the fact that in 1954 (when this one was written) the assumption was that I would have more than one pipe needing to be hung up.
Note to self: buy more pipes.
We went to dinner at the end of this long day. We’re just outside Sarasota. It’s like Key West but minus the public man/man action. I didn’t want to use the word “faggotry” twice in one post. Also, thanks to Ann Barnhardt for coining that term in one of her podcasts. I use it daily. Our waitress was a doll. A working girl who worked hard and had a smile on her face the whole time. I tipped her very generously because to not do so when I can would be a sin.
Friends, it’s bad out there and getting worse. Say your prayers. Protect the widow and orphan. Stand up for the worker when he is being defrauded by Amazon and China and Joe Byron. Manfully represent your heterosexual (natural) family by truly loving your wife and kids and in-laws. Protect human life with all your strength. God gave you as men that power to do these things. Call upon His Holy Name and He will work through you and you will do marvelous things. I didn’t see anyone oppressing the poor outright today, but defend them too!
Be men. Be women. Married couples, love one another according to the dictates of Ephesians 5. And husbands, you damn well better be willing to die for your wives.
And let’s put a nice bow on it – wear a suit while you’re doing it. I did. It was from Brooks Brothers and I looked damn good all day.
Let us pray for one another.
Our Lady, Tower of Ivory, pray for us!
St. Joseph, model for men, pray for us!
Holy Guardian Angels, protect us!